ABANYALA BA KAKAMEGA- Relatives and Marriages

"Am the real aunt to the father of your father's mother. Respect me!" That is how extended the relationships are among Abanyala ba Kakamega. Abanyala ba Kakamega have a web relationships called olwikho. There is blood paternal-relationship called ekholo, non blood relatives due to marriages called abalebe and distant relatives known as esichokhe. Olwikho helped to shape interaction and bring social order. Any relative had a right to discipline a child.

A] RELATIVES AND RELATIONS IN OLUNYALA (K) 
The following are the main names for main relations among the Abanyala.

1. Abakhocha (Ewukhocha)- general namr for all members of the clan of your mother.
2. Abakuka (Ewukuka)- general name of clan where one's father is uncled.
3. Abakukhu (Ewukukhu)- general name of clan where your mother is uncled.
4. Basakwa- one you have married with from the same family. Also the husband to your wife's cousin.
5. Esianang'ina- ones half brother; share only one of the biological mother.
6. Esinamunda- son or a dauhter to esisoni
7. Esichanyi or esisanyi- son or daughter to esinamunda
8. Esitakha-malalu- son or daughter to esichanyi.
9. Esisoni- son or daughter to great grandson; child to esichukhulumbunda.
10. Khocha- a brother to one's mother or male cousin to one's mother.
11. Kuka- grandfather; father to your mother, father to your father or father to one's uncles
12. Kukhu- ones maternal or paternal grandmother.
13. Mufiala- child to your mother's brother or your father's sister.
14. Mulamwa- sister to one's wife or brother to one's husband. The wife to the brother of your wife is known by same name. However, the wife to your mukhwasi was treated with respect similar to that of the mother-in-law; though greated by hand.
15. Mama- ones biological mother. (Not called mayi for it has a different meaning)
16. Mama omutiti- younger sister to ones biological mother.
17. Mama omukhulunchu- elder sister to your biological  mother
18. Mayi masaala- mother to wife or husband. Was never greeted by hand and was supposed to be respected. You can not give eulogy in praise of your mother in law while standing in the main arena or even lower her body in grave.
19. Mayi omutiti- last co-wife to your mother
20. Mayi omukhulunchu- first co-wife to your mother
21. Mayi omukhwe (mayi masaala)- mother to ones husband
22. Munenwa- father or mother to ones son in law.
23. Mwalikhwa- ones co-wife.
24. Omukhana wange- ones daughter in law
25. Omukulo- a relative that one was free to discuss social issues freely with. They were aunts, grandfather and grandmother.
26. Omusengechana- your brother's child; niece
27. Omwichukhulu- grandson or grand daughter
28. Omwichukhulumbunda- a greatgrandchild; child  to grandchild.
29. Omwiwa- your sister or female cousin's child; nephew.
30. Omusolili wange- son-in-law
31. Papa- faher.
32. Papa mukali- elderer brothers to ones father
33. Paba mutiti- elder brothers to ones dad
34. Papa masaala- father-in-law who sired your wife oris your husband. If he sired your husband, then he was not feared as mother-in-law. Upon his death, you are free to move close and give eulogy in praise. He is treated the same way your father is culturally treated. However, if he sired your husband, then he was suppossed to be feared and respected.
35. Papa omukhwe (papa masala)- father to ones husband.
36. Samwana- specific name for a cousins to one's father.
37. Senge- sister to your father or a female cousin to your father
38. Mkha(ye)- wife
39. Wakhasi- child to your mother's sister or your mother's cousin.
40. Omwichukhulu- grandchild
41. Omwichukhulu-mbunda- greatgrandon
42. Yaya- brother from same womb
43. Wamwe- used by people to refer to a husband to mean 'husband to so and so.' It was never used by the children or wife.

It is on the basis of thee above alwikho, among other factors, that choice of one's marrige partner was tested against. Marriage was a collective responsibility that involved the aunts, parents and wangira (messangers). In fact, the dowry was to come from your father. Incase of death, your elder brother waw to contribute towards it.

B] RELATIVES AND MARRIAGE PARTNER CHOICE
When it comes to marriage, one had to be careful not to choose omwikho (a relative) or omulebe (non blood relative). No marriage was allowed between specific relatives. Also, no room for incest was tolerated. Abanyala maintained that such marriage relationship was both doomed and cursed. The act was called oluswa and/or its effects manifested itself as ekhira. Its effects may be instant or believed to brood before attack (oluswa lufunda).

Any offspring of such a union would be genetically and physically weak, some will be abnormal, and even die of strange complications or strange deaths. In cases where relatives are warned and they ignore, fate would always bring together those that have effects which can even be scientifically explained. The following are key issues about relatives and marriage.
a) No go zone clans
Among the abanyala, each boy had atleast seven clans he could not marry from.

1. No marriage or sexual relation within the same clan. Abanyala did not accept marriage within the same clan. For example, a man or a lady from Abaengele could not marry a lady from Abaengele in Bunyala, Abaengele in Bukusu, Abaengele in Tachon or Abaengele in Uganda. To date, this is still respected.
2. No marriage within pact-clans- the two clans of same gate called esiriwa who had a pact. Clan that had few clan members usually came together to form a claster of clans called esiriwa. For example, the Abakwangwachi (Those who are by mistake called Abaucha are same to Abakwangwachi for their family tree is that of the elder family of Abakwangwachi), the Abasenya, the Abasiondo and the Abachimba had one clan cluster called Abawo. Within this cluster, Abakwangwachi and Abasenya made an oath pact never to intermarry. This pact between the two clans has been hornoured for centuries.
3. No marriage or sexual relations to clan of of ABAKHOCHA- members of the maternal uncles. The clan of one's biological mother was a no go zone in search of a marital partner. Men introduced themselves using their mother's clan name. For example, great leaders had mother's name: we had leaders such as Mayero wa Nakuta, Mukhamba wa Nabakholo and Ndombi wa Namusia. A girl could not get married to the clan of her mother and a boy could not marry from his mother's clan. Girls and boys staying at their uncle's were not supposed to engage in relationships in presence of their uncles. A curse from an uncle is believed t be lethal; therefore, marrying from one's uncles was believed to be same to courting a curse since the partners could possess the ability to curse the other. It was same to enjoying your mother's nakedness (esiwabwo). To date, this is still respected for it lead to thining and death.
4. No marriage to a clan member from EWUKUKA clans- where your mother or father is uncled. A boy was restricted from getting a partner from the biological grandmothers' clan- uncle to mother or uncle to father if your uncles gave your parent esikamo. This was specifically when the targeted person, whether from the nuclear or extended family, has a  relationship with a specifiable name such (mufiala, mayi, senge and kukhu) to ones biological parents. It was a taboo for one's father to start calling his cousin or aunt as daughter-in-law or son-law. However, upon the death of ones' parents, then one may be allowed to marry for they say, 'You have brought back your grandmother to the family.'

b). No go zone that are non relatives.
Though not relatives, no marriage was allowed between the following categories of people called abalebe due to their roles in ones life.

1. Bakoki relations- No marriage to a person who is a bakoki to ones father. Also, the bakoki's sons and daughters could not intermarry. In case it happens, the Bakoki paid a fine and was banned from eating the age set oath (olubaka) with the others.
2. The couples uncled in one clan- Two people uncled in the same clan were considered cousins hence could not intermarry. The two were considered wakhasi to each other even if they came from different extended families.
3. Circumcision relation- A boy was not allowed to marry a daughter to the circumciser who teased him with a meal in a ceremony called okhulumia olukumba
4. Midwife effect- the daughter to the woman who made your mother deliver was a no go zone.
5. Clan name prohibition- there are times a girl could be named after a woman who came from a given clan. In such cases, the girl could be called Nambengere, Nakhuba, Namakwangwachi (kwachi), Nasenya, Nasumba, Namukoole ets. If ones name is Namusia, though not from Abasia, then Abasia is a no go zone.
6. Clan of your son's wife- if one takes a second wife, then she should never be from the clan of the wife to the son.
7. Prohibited wife by inheritance- there were special factors that shaped the choice of partner in an inheritance marriages. One could not inherit omukhwe of any type. Children could not inherit a co-wife to their mother who came into the home before their birth or who has sired a child with their father. Their were special cases where children could inherit their mother's co-wive.

c). No go zones due to family or parents' advice

1. There are times specific clans, out of obseving the history of past marriages, could declare some families or clans as either incompatible or compatible with theirs. In relation to this, there was no complete restriction, but just an advice that marriages from such clans are blessed to work or to fail. At times, there existed a history of okhuwolola (getting back dowry) when a member of a given clan married from a specific clan. At times, this advise was out of fear of mixing emisambwa. For example, the circumcisors avoided clans with history of nightruning. This was an advise and never a restriction.
2. Also, parents had biological histories of families. There were cases where parents knew the biological parent to a person in a given family in a different clan. They could advise their children not to marry from such clan if they suspect relation. When your father tells you do not marry from a given family, it is good to listen especially if the mother to the girl belongs to your fathers age bracket. If it is your mother, then NEVER QUESTION.

C] TYPES OF MARRIAGES IN ABANYALA
Traditionally, the process of acquiring a wife among Abanyalas was in six ways.

1. Esiserero. It involved parents, grandmother, or aunt (senge) of the boy scouting around for the wife- the boy himself was not involved. There were qualities they looked for and accertained before making their maiden move into a home with the targeted girl. Parents had to be convinced of a few basic things about the girl. She had to: be coming from a reputable family, hardworking, of good character, not from same clan, not a daughter to vakooki (circumcision age set of father with whom they partakes an oath of oluvaka  together), not a daugher to the main man who circumcised the boy, not a daughter to the omwiwusi  (birth attendant) who helped the boy's mother at birth, not from clans that were eponymous to the boy's clan by the time of marriage, not relatives of the boy's mother and not from the grandmother's clan if that grandmother was still alive or if she was the one who brought the boy up. Upon identifying one, the parents of the boy identified emisseries (wangira) to go and put in a formal request. They requested by saying  that they have omuyini  ('a hoe's handle') and were in search of an embako ('hoe'). To this the parents to the girl could respond incase they had a 'jembe' which had not been betrothed to another 'handle'. The girl's parents requested to be given time do their own investigations about the boy. After some agreed time, the boy's emmisseries went back for the response. If it was positive, a deal was struck. At this point, the boy's emmiseries carried a token from the father to the boy called esi echo. This token  symbolized a covenant between the two clans to have entered into marriage relation negotiation. At times, the boy and girl could be informed at this time. Each clan  selected an aunt who was to  psychologically prepare each of their kin. Thereafter, the girl's dowry which is normally 12 cows for the father, a cow for the uncles,  a goat for the pertanal aunt, an echabe (blanket) for the grandfather, a token for the father-in-law and another token for the mother-in-law (echiolubere). Those going to pay dowry must comprise of a child (who will tell story in future in case of an issue), a neighbour not from the boy's clan and a brother or grandfather to the boy. Dowry for first wife cames from the father but if one married other wives, then it was from his own sweat that he paid the dowry. After all the above, the girl moved in, in a process called okhuteekha. She moved from home with sisters or a few friends who escorts her. She was then picked for the new home while still a few villages from their home by the boy's emissaries. At the gate of the boy's home, another group of women joined them singing lead by the boy's aunt. They sang: 'Omwene dala asangala kho omugeni sangale' (Owner of the new home has to be happy before the visitor can be happy). At this point, esiserero was over. After a day, a goat for appreciation was sent to the aunt of the girl for helping to advise the girl to remain pure. 
2. Okhwitekhesia (eloping). This was usually discouraged when used to get one's first wife. It was was majorly reserved for okhwalikha omukhaye which means acquiring the second or other wives. However, even those making a debut in marriage embraced it. When used to get the second wife, they become mwalikhwa (co-wives) to the first wife (omukhaye). The process for this kicked off when a boy (man) and a girl struck a deal to marry each other. The girl just disappeared, mostly, after going to the river to fetch water in the evening. She left the water pot with akhendo (water fetching calabash) on top of it at the esobere (water source point). When this happened, the man of the home (or a parents of the boy) sent an emissary to inform parents to the girl that their daughter was in their etaala (home) and emediately paid esimiko (to appease the anger that can make parents commit suicide for the loss). Failure to pay esimiko gave the girl's kin a right to intrude into ones home in the early morning and take a cow amid singing. They could sing: Ngaho akhwenyeranga ngaho... (We have accepted the marriage for we too wanted it.) However, in case the parents of the girl do not approve of the marriage, they asked for their 'child' back. If the girl refused, and they still meant business, then they did the obominable act: they send the girl's mother which amanyasi (herbs that were chewed) to take her back in a traditional process called okhuchusa mwiiria (breaking and cursing the marriage). It was a taboo that lead to an empirical curse to the girl if she refused to go back with the mother from the boy's house. Upon being fetched, if the girl adamantly went back, then it spelled doom for her entire life. The coming of the father for the same purpose of okhuchusa mwiria showed there was hope for consensus and change of heart. If a boy used this method and the girl was found to be a relative, she given a chicken and escorted back to their home by an elderly person.
3. Okhukoosa (inheritance) After the death of the husband, a widow's relationship with the family and clan did not cease.  She continued in the lineage as a functioning wife in a levirate union. Levirate arrangement was exercised as one form of stabilizing the family unit. All married women had different roles and responsibilities according to the position held in the family. When the husband died, each widow is inherited by a brother-in-law or a culturally compatible close relative of the deceased. The inheritor is said to have done okhukoola mu kubiri. (going back the late brother's house). After some time, he has to built a new house for the  widow (okhuchusa mukubiri ) and bring down the old house through a process called okhukwisa ekubiri. This involed the physcal symbolic spliting of the main roofing beam (esiro) of the man's house. At this point, the woman becomes his official wife. Getting a wife by inheritance had rules. An omukhwe (sexually incompatible culturally) never inherited the widow; an elder brother never inherited a younger brother's wife;  Omwiwa (man uncled in the home) inheriting a wife at the uncles was not acceptible but it at times happened only if the man has not been given esikamo. Furthermore, within a polygamous family each widow was inherited depending on which position she held before the death of her husband.
4. Okhubakha. It invoved a person linking a lady to be a wife to another person directly without invoking any elaborate procedure. The link person came armed with engeso (sickle) and an acceptance was markied by giving out akhasanda (calabash). For example, an unintented but willing person did get a wife at short notice. A boy could refuse a girl who has been brought into the home after completion of an elaborate process of esiserero. Such a girl never went back to their home. She was given to the next deserving relative. Also, sisters or cousins to one's wife could visit, 'see the land' as good and then requests their sister to give them out to any willing good man to start life.  It was also normal for a man to marry a sister to the wife; however, the second sister to come must not be an elder sister to the one the man married first. Also, in case of premarital pregnancy (okhukhaka embusi okhulenge) the parents of the girl just brought the girl into your home and declared her as your wife without dowry negotiations. It was a taboo to discuss dowry when a woman could be described as ali nende efumo (is pregnant). Cunning husbands always brought this up when in-laws demanded for a debt owed for dowry item. 
5. Okhuwooyesia- This was more of a punishment that made some men acquire wives. A man who habitually involved himself in an on-off elicit conjugal relationship with another man's wife could, at times, be 'given' that wife by the husband. A wife acquired through this method came with consequences to the new husband from community. The process involved the husband going with his wife to the target person's home, ordering her to stay in her 'new' home and took the person's cow. This cow was a sign he has 'gifted' out the wife and has stated a process to make that 'wife snatcher' to own her. After staying with the cow for some time without the owner coming for it or the wife going back to her maternal home, this cow was taken to the wife's fathers. He then informed the father-in-laws of this unfortunate matrmonial coup. The in-laws regretibly took the cow and arraged to give back a portion of the dowry their son-in-law had paid in a process is called okhuwolola (Taking back dowry). Abanyala never took dowry twice from different husbands for one girl unless the first dowry paid was officially returned to the owner and the marriage voided. Okhuwolola could only be allowed to happen if echio was not cooked for the first marriage. By this, the other man will have got a wife too. To discourage this, such couples were fined and excommunicated.
6. Okhwimanusa- Abanyala never took over wifes captured during a war from, most sub-tribes. However, they could take wives captured from Bukusu during brotherly fights. This process was called okhwimanusia.

D] ACCIDENTAL MARRIAGE BETWEEN RELATIVES
Mariage to a relative was considered an incest act that leads to a curse condition called oluswa. Oluswa had no herbal cure. However the following could happen:

1. Excominication from community (esiatikho) At times, two people who are relatives, who marry each other were send out of the community. Most went out and formed new clans or got assimilated into other clans. In this s case, the candidate was officially send off from the clan and a ceremony of esiatikho made. Such could end up intermarrying in parent clan provided the name changed. A person who just move out of clan without the ceremony of esiatikho is still a clan member. For example, among the Abanyala Abakabras the clan of Abatobo make a mistake by marrying Abakechi. The Abakechi are from Abatobo Clan who escaped after killing a clansman (okhukecha)
2. Stopping the relationship If discovered early before conception, the girl was send back.The dowry as brought back. At times an elderly person was send to take back the girl. He carried a chicken with was slaughtered and roasted upon arrival. Calling the girl's mother to come and  pick the girl was lethal if the girl refused to go back. It spelled doom for both the boy and the girl.
3.  Late discoveries left to go on after a ceremony or ceremony done then retationship stopped incase they had not married. At times, relations could be hidden to an extent that discovery is made some years down marriage life. At times, two related people unwittingly married or even engage in sexual intercourse. Such incestuous could not be dissolved but a purification rite had to be performed. The express purpose of this purification ritual was to appease the evil deity known as Were Kubi-bimbi (evil ancestral spirits), ebimakombe or bisieno as well as emongo (fate). This was to make sure that they do not bring misfortunes to the couple and their children. In this rite slaughtering of a black young bull that attempterd to sire before, or a black sheep or a black goat with bulbous structures at the neck as used. The choice depended on the type of relationship with very close ones going for the cow. During the night ceremony, all the innards are removed and the couple is smeared with greenish entrails mixed with herbs called amanyasi aka ebasa. The couple is made to step inside the carcass and lie down facing each other in an embrace in a process called okhukona mwikhokho (sleeping mwikhokho). They have to be in their birthday suits. The couples are then to imitate a sexual act moves. The liver from the animal is then put on a stick and the two move out to grab it. Whoever gets it first beats the other one with it on the chest. After these, only some part of the cattle is eaten by very elderly men and the rest burned to ashes. Then an old pot with perforations called omubende kwa olukhokokho is put on the roof top of the house by wife's brother. The pot faces down.

If the above pot could not be found, then an old pot was perforated and used to serve this purpose.